People come and go. I have to understand that. I need to accept this. Nowadays, I don't even talk to anyone much and I'm missing all my friends a lot. Poly friends are either overseas or busy with OCIP....nobody has time for me. Secondary school friends are all busy with their own personal life or studying for promos. This holiday has been therapeutic in a way that I have 'me' time, being alone doing things I like (watching dramas, listening to music, blogging, reading) but I'm really afraid that this might be the period of time I'm losing friends because I'm not active. Also, band has been really frustrating that I kind of grew tired explaining the same shit to people again and again. Recently, I've been busy with working, trying to do something more productive and that's the only form of communication I've had since holidays started (other than my family). I don't know whether to embrace this quiet lifestyle or trying out the life I always thought I liked (loud music, clubbing, going out with friends, doing crazy things, laughing loud, being out all day). I just know that too much of each is bad and now I have to start connecting with people again but it's hard when you are the only one who's free. I guess I just have to wait till end of promos and just work hard on improving myself now. Maybe this period of time is given to me to recharge myself before the start of school. I need to start focusing on myself and be a better person.
Reflection done. Time to read newspapers/calculate song durations/ meet Jeremy for scores printing/ memorise sharps and flats. After all these, that's when I can finally focus on improving myself. All these aside, I really cannot wait for the concert to be over. Enough of people putting me down. It's time to stand up for myself xo.
Band practice at night and I'm so goddamn tired and out of breath. sucks. period
Currently packing up for concert later haahaha and it feels....like nothing LOL. I didn't even bother to ask anyone to attend the concert and it's my first time being the emcee. Sigh I really hope the concert will be ok.
Anyway, I realised I still like you alot. You're my dream guy. Someone who's a joker among his friends, being really charismatic and funny and selfless. He will only reveal his true side to his close friends and I want to be one of them. To me, you're perf. Even though you complain alot and other shit like smoking/drinking, I don't mind any of these. That's how I look at you and it sucks knowing that I can never have you and I'm measuring every guy to you, like how they match up to you and it hurts because I'm never gonna attract a guy like you. Never.