"well-behaved woman seldom make history"

"“For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
 For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
 For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
 For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.
 For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. 
 People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
 As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.” 

"whatever you are, be a good one"

xoxo

“What you must understand about me is that I’m a deeply unhappy person.”

hi.
Just listened to shayne ward and i can't help feeling sad for no reason. His voice is so sorrowful that one can't help but to feel sad?? I realised i listen to many love songs in the past and i remember crying while singing love songs what the heck was i doing hahaha and i don't even have a lover then, or now. Listening to sad songs are somehow very comforting to me and i guess i like to make myself sad sometimes. Like, it is ok to make myself sad but it's NOT ok for people to make me sad hahaha  i can make myself sad looking at pretty people on insta but i hate it when people make me sad, like today. I swear my patience is running thin ughhh im a princess in my house ok and i have to bear this shit in school wtf better watch out i nearly raged today (just a lil bit more)

All these random ramblings aside, nothing major happened and i don't know if this is a good or bad thing (good because nothing made me sad, bad because i have a mundane life), life is pretty much studies, spending money on food and regretting it later, the want to be skinny, gorging on food, gossiping (lol im ashamed of this), consoling friends, watching dramas, browsing carousell for hours and yeah, that's it.

Today's her birthday and i delibrately went to her twitter profile and browse through all her tweets plus insta photos and yay i managed to evoke that sad empty feeling within me ): She's not pretty, smart, super nice or anything but she has EVERYTHING. What I won't do to have her friends who are so damn caring and nice to her and no, i refuse to believe that she's not a bitch ugh. She fricking stole M away from me ok i will not settle for this (i have actually).

Dad sent me home today and i was thinking of M while on the lorry. Sigh, how i hope we have a chance to be friends again but sadly, we won't. He really played an important part in my life that period of time and it's such a pity to see him being someone i used to know. I don't even know why i was so affected then, he wasn't even someone i like (as a lover) and yet, i was so upset that i cried to sleep the first few days ):
I guess all this is over now and i should move on and improve myself to be a better person

Anyway, my third piercing doesn't hurt that much anymore and im thinking of getting another one heeheehe and i plan to start working out and save $$$$ heehehhee can't wait for christmas!!!

P/s it's gonna be a year since i know you and no matter how much i say i hate you and how i don't ever wanna see you, i still wish the best for you and pls don't be sad anymore. I'm always here for you, just that you'll never know

x

happy birthday to me

Hi. I'm supposed to be doing the RM quiz now but i guess i shall take a mini break before i continue heheheh

Firstly, happy 17th to me! This year was one difficult year i shall say as i dealt with people leaving me and realising that some people are so important to me that when they leave, I'm completely lost. This year was tough especially from Jan-April because i was alone, dealing with the fact that im on a different route from my close friends. All of them (most) enrolled into jc and I was one of the exceptional that chose poly, plus temasek poly. It's been so long since i made friends so i was really scared and i remember crying cause i was so scared. I remember M making me feel better with all his words but i guess i bore him so we stopped talking in june. That period was the worst period of my life, going through the same thing in sec 3. He left me all alone, someone that i grew so close with just like how i did with jh and it pains me that the same thing has to happen TWICE. liking someone i should never like and getting hurt in the end. I cried myself to sleep and prayed that he will talk to me again everyday. Now, i don't. Those days were over. I have moved on and im really proud of myself for being so strong, surviving all these.

This year, I learnt to make friends. I learnt to be more funny, outgoing and be myself. For the first time in 17 years, i feel free. I feel unrestricted and YOLO. I love all my poly friends and im really thankful for the surprise on friday plus the outing at the beach (':

On the whole, I'm proud of myself for staying true to myself and not being easily swayed by people. I'm happy with my grades and i will work harder to maintain it. Also, I will learn to save money and be easily contented. I'm ready to welcome more people into my life and i shall let things take its natural course. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

I'm not that afraid of the interviews anymore (: I will try my best to have fun with whatever i'm given with.

------


Just came back from wedding lunch and im too full to even have dinner even after 4 hrs. 9 course meal really no joke hahahahah i thought i might die halfway while eating, something i don't mind hahahaha

back to reality

xoxo