love letter

dear samantha
i’m sorry
we have to get a divorce
i know that seems like an odd way to start a love letter but let me explain:
it’s not you
it sure as hell isn’t me
it’s just human beings don’t love as well as insects do
i love you.. far too much to let what we have be ruined by the failings of our species

i saw the way you looked at the waiter last night
i know you would never DO anything, you never do but..
i saw the way you looked at the waiter last night

did you know that when a female fly accepts the pheromones put off by a male fly, it re-writes her brain, destroys the receptors that receive pheromones, sensing the change, the male fly does the same. when two flies love each other they do it so hard, they will never love anything else ever again. if either one of them dies before procreation can happen both sets of genetic code are lost forever. now that… is dedication.

after Elizabeth and i broke up we spent three days dividing everything we had bought together
like if i knew what pots were mine like if i knew which drapes were mine somehow the pain would go away

this is not true

after two praying mantises mate, the nervous system of the male begins to shut down
while he still has control over his motor functions
he flops onto his back, exposing his soft underbelly up to his lover like a gift
she then proceeds to lovingly dice him into tiny cubes
spooning every morsel into her mouth
she wastes nothing
even the exoskeleton goes
she does this so that once their children are born she has something to regurgitate to feed them
now that.. is selflessness

i could never do that for you

so i have a new plan
i’m gonna leave you now
i’m gonna spend the rest of my life committing petty injustices
i hope you do the same
i will jay walk at every opportunity
i will steal things i could easily afford
i will be rude to strangers
i hope you do the same
i hope reincarnation is real
i hope our petty crimes are enough to cause us to be reborn as lesser creatures
i hope we are reborn as flies
so that we can love each other as hard as we were meant to.

-Jared Singer 


Such a sad and emotional love letter, but i wonder how i will feel if im ever a recipient of such a letter. It's funny how some things are not necessarily good when complicated, like love.


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met up with AMB today for POP and i was really happy hahaha seeing my batchmates and some juniors, no matter how much i say i hate band, i will still love it with all my heart. Met mr lim and i really could feel his love sighh his warm smile and his teasings :'-) i really love him alot haahah although he's a reason why i hate myself sometimes.

After POP, walked to grandma house for a simple xmas dinner and it was really good. My whole family kept making jokes and the atmosphere was so loving and comfortable and warm haahaha so thankful and lucky to have a bunch of such amazing family members. Heard that justin is scoring all A's again in uni and he's currently going london, kinda regret i didn't get to know him more till this year.

Really really really love my family and friends (amb) and today was simply a good day becus i received stickers from ken too!!! And they are from legit designers heehehehehe :-)

gonna prepare to sleep now

xoxo